Not feeling all the Christmassy

This one is rather bleak, but bleak is better than false joy. So, merry merry. I’ll post it, because if I sent it out, with appropriate painting, I think I would be inundated with calls from suicide hotlines. I’m not depressed. It’s a hard time and when things are hard, I believe we pull back to think of the one candle.

XMAS 2015

Swirling dark claustrophobic close. Pressing

Those sunny and fiery heights toward which I reached
And valleys painted deep with purple and blue as the summer day slid to sleep
No longer seen.

Are they?

Were they ever?

Etched in my heart, I feel them,
but the heart is a notorious liar

Can you see
Candle flickers against the storm

Gone now

Another flares
Another whisked out

But two more spit flame

Heartbroken, damaged flame

But flame that holds back
The smallest dark.

And if we are close enough
I can see your eyes in the shadow…dark, moist, with care
And I can reach
And gently draw my finger down your cheek
With hope
That I may hope once more.

With hope that I may one day hope once more.

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