Author: Steve Schatz

I have great big owwie
don’t tell me it’s ok
your kiss won’t make it better
or chase the ow away

It’s an owwie on my finger
and owwie on my hand
Fork over with some sympathy
why can’t you understand

I know that I’ll survive this
but that don’t help me now
just smile and let me whine a bit
ow ow owww!

Velcro shoesies
Velcro shoe
Push to fasten tis all I do

Fingers not nimble
Thumbs don’t fit

I got de cro
Don’t give a shit

My Keys
To the tune of London Bridge

Where’d I put my keys this time
keys this time, keys this time
Where’d I put my keys this time
I just had em

Check the drawer where they should be
they should be , they should be
Check the drawer where they should be
Ha – didn’t think so

On the table? No such luck
No such luck, No such luck
On the table? No such luck
Never be so easy

I give up and got to pee
got to pee, got to pee
I give up and got to pee
Oh… here they are

Right! I had to wash my face
wash my face, wash my face
Yeah, I had to wash my face
and put em down there

Got the keys All set to go
Set to go, Set to go
Got the keys. All set to go
Now, where was I going?

Slow Walkin

It’s a long, slow walk
From the front door
to the street.

Better leave early
miss the afternoon heat.

If you are impatient
just go on ahead.

I’ll soak up every minute
In no hurry to be …
there.

Agnes eats apricots
right off the tree
“They may not be
all ripe
but they’re all right
with me.”

If you must know, I’ve
difficulty bending
my knee

So it’s tree fruit
or no fruit
and I love fruit
you see.”

Wrinkle wrinkle
on my face
Let’s be honest
every place.

Once my skin
was tight and fair
Muscles firm
nice derriere

Think wise oak,
not gnarled tree
Old, fine wine
complexity.

Myrtle & Marty

Myrtle and Marty have been friends for life

So close, most mistake them for husband and wife

But Marty’s as gay
as a musical play

And Myrtle’s bed choices
present varied voices

In all other acts,
they can blend without strife
And co- beard when small minded
riffraff are rife.